i just wonder, what are u gonna do to someone that u love so much..ur family, friends or lover..

i have family but sometime i want stay far away frm them, actually i always want it happen even i know i dont want it..i have a lot of friends but its hard to make good one..
lover??i dont want talk bout it..its to complicated!!hard to explain..

i love them so much and i always think, if something happen to them i will get their back..
if they need me i will be there at least i do my best to get there..
if they want get rid of me..one thing i should do is stay away from them till they want me back or never..
i try my best to get everything right and in the right way!!even i know i ussually cant make the good one..

i just wonder who's gonna take my back??i thought nobody will do..
nobody care what i feel about..what life i can make, not even what things i gonna do..
nobody cares if im angry, sad,cry, feel disspointed or even "suicide" maybe..

sometime i love this life and want to enjoy it for a while..but life makes me sick..sometime it makes me to hate it!!

i dont know whats wrong with me..everything near me, someone who i love or something..i just make it worse than before..im always ruin it..

patheatic..ironic..what else i can say??sometime i've been so sarcastic..
i try to make my life seems brighter..can i do that??
i try to make my life easier, not complicated like i life in it..but i dont think i can catch that things..its like so far away from me..

happiness, fun, good life..who think i deserve for it??or maybe i dont deserve it right away..
nobody know me, never better..
im just pretend that im alive..thats it!!!

its good to pretend but im lil bit tired to be pretend anymore..should i do it more longer??

i cant even answer it by my self..who cares huh??

SHIT!!!TOTALLY I FEEL SO MESSED UP..

I ALWAYS PUT MY LAPTOP SCREEN IN OFF CONDITION when i take a shower and also i close my bed room door..

TODAY..i found my door open and my laptop screen SUDDENLY TURN ON..
actually i know who came into my room, that was my brother!!shit man i hate if someone cant respect my privacy!! i have my own room and i decide who can get INTO my room!!!if i said stay away then i mean it!!I will let somebody touch my stuff and get into my room or anything based on their attitude..if i found something bad and if i feel it can be threat my self..i will defense on my own!!
SO BEHAVE...

I hate my stuff been touched without unknown reason!!i dont like my SMS been read by somebody, inbox and also sent items..i hate if my chat log been checked out like i've done something bad and they need to know who im talking to and what im talked about!!

its like : "hey man..what did u do??u go into my room and open my laptop also open my mobile without my permission??daaa..even u are my brother u need to learn about attitude!!i hate ur behavior also ur attitude that u cant put your self away from my stuff!!!man everyone need privacy so do u, dont ya??u dont like if i touched ur mobile, so do i..you dont like if u chat with "someone" and i look at ur chat windows, its same with me!!you dont like ur stuff been touched and moved away from the place..i mean it..me too bro..if u dont mind i came to ur room coz ur room never locked, its not gonna happen to me..we diffrent creature man..we have diffrent sight and i dont want ANYBODY GET INTO MY ROOM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..i have my own reason!!thats why i always lock my door when i leave it somewhere, even i just go to the kitchen or living room!!i have my own behavior..if u dont like something, learn from it..just think if u dont like something messed up ur room or something, better u take it with ur self also..but if u dont mind if someone do something to u, not mean that u can do the samething to other people!!

watch and learn boy..u are my brother but u need to watch ur behavior..im so mad man..but u always take it like im kidding..BEHAVE MAN BEHAVE!!!!!! u are 1 year younger..and u supposed to be learn anything that what u do and dont..im so messed up man..

dont u dare to came into my room again without my permission..or touch my mobile..open the gallery or sms or anything!!!

I'M WARN YOU...AND I MEAN IT!!!STEP AWAY FROM MY DOOR IF U CANT GET PERMIT

maybe this is the 3rd time i open my blogger but i forget what my user name is..
haiz, long time not update my blogger..work stuff make me forget about anything..forget about my friendster my lesson in uni before and everything but i never forget with everybody near me and special for me!!wont forget bout them..
when i told to everyone, my family or my friends, about my study, that i leave my study and work , they turn become pros and cons..
some of them said its so unbelieveable that i can leave my study that 1 year to go to graduation things..but some of them said, good luck in everything u do!! but the other said wah u become big boss, good if u want help ur dad run the business..
i just think sort of things in my mind..
why i leave my school?? coz i believe if i want go to school, i can go anytime i want..school dont have age limit to go for it!!when im going to old, rich and nothing to do, if i want to go to uni i will go..
why i work??coz not every people in this world, even they have master or PhD they can find job with easily..world facing jobless problem..and i have the chance to work, what should i've waiting for??to lost this chance??at least when my friend start to learn to work..i already have all the experienced..if i failed i have more time to learn it..im one step ahead from them..and i never regret it..NEVER EVER REGRET..